Motivational Posters...

You've seen em... motivational posters... big thing
in the 80s... faded in the 90s... the one with the eagle and "leadership" or the one with the rowing team "teamwork". It's the best way to suck up to your boss, making them think you're an A-player when in fact you're a shoddy excuse for an employee.

Three surefire ways to know your co-worker is doing absolutely nothing when they say:

1) I'm so busy....
TRANSLATION - Need to let everyone know that I'm doing nothing but playing Solitaire, filing my nails, planning a trip to Vermont, and what is for dinner. The way to tell how little they are doing is the way the "so" is intonated. If the person really pushes and emphasizes the SOOOOOOOO, the less busy they are.


2) I worked last night until 7pm...
TRANSLATION - I only showed up at 1030am, therefore I need to make sure everyone knows that I'm here. Let's face it, at 530pm, you ain't doing no hard-core work. In all likelihood you're doing your online banking, calling your boyfriend, and picking your nose cause or scratching the side of your stomach cause nobody is in the office. Your stomach is hungry, you're tired, and you want some Celine Dion music to calm your nerves...


3) I'm taking work home this weekend...
TRANSLATION - It's the best way to piss off your other co-workers... yes, really annoy them... you're almost better off saying you're soooooooo busy. It's hard to work at home unless your wife or husband is a hermit and you live in the mountain with your gnome friends in a mushroom village.

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Back to the motivational posters. Can you really be motivated by looking at the rowing team or eagle? There's really only one thing that motivates me to wake up every morning, and that's not for this blog entry (wink). That guy in the middle of the Blasphemy poster rips me up.

Four Habs Fans...

Yeah... I'm a bit warped. I like Borat... I like Harold and Kumar... I even like Team America World Police... the dumber the movie, the more I like it... what motivated me to start blogging was actually a blog called "Four Habs Fans" (see my blog list on the right). Specifically, http://fourhabsfans.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-was-incredible-feeledelfia-3-mentreal.html

I laugh my ass off and pee my pants and I still do everytime I read this post, so kudos to my friends at fourhabsfans.... it's a must read if you are a Canadiens fan.

I'll post more about hockey later on, but this blog was starting to feel like Canadian FoodTV... had to mix it up a bit.

Yeasty Boys... my guide to making bread

Rise my little friends... rise..... it's alive... it's alive!!!!
Breadmaking is probably one of the hardest things to do in the kitchen. You are depending on spores to reproduce and create gas inside elastic-based flour. You're also trying to do it in a home kitchen which also doubles as a daycare, accounting office and love shack... not a temple of bread making

The challenges that I've seen are the following:

- the altitude, humidity, temperature of the air affect the rise of the dough and humidity of the dough;
- sometimes the dough takes on a yeasty-smell due to under baking, over rising or rapid rising;
- stiff dough (usually being stiff is not a problem, but in breadmaking it is);
- ugly bread (yeah, bread is ugly too sometimes);
- explaining to yourself... you're wondering why you spent $5 and 5 hours to make a loaf of bread you could have bought for $4.75 at the store;


Over the past 10 years, I've been dabbling in bread to varying degrees of success. The following are tips that I've learned through trial and error....
1) always use bread flour;
2) always use regular yeast, not quick rise;
3) never make bread if you are in a rush;
4) allow at least 3 hours for the first rise, and at least 1 hour for the second rise;
5) always dissolve the yeast in a warm liquid with a touch of honey, for at least 5 minutes (it tests the activity of the yeast too);
6) always use salt, it cuts down the activity of the yeast;
7) use a mixer with a dough hook (spiral corkscrew hook is the BEST, not the J-hook... in fact, I'm waiting for my kitchenaid mixer to blow so I can get a spiral corkscrew, since they don't sell attachments for the size of my mixer);
8) add all dry first, sift the flour, and then slowly add liquids, up until the dough separates from the hook.... always try to add the most liquid without having the hook hold onto the dough. The more water absorbed, the more malleable the dough will be. This may take some time, but you'll know the feeling of seeing the dough peeling off the walls of the mixer, but with a stickiness to it, not dry;
9) try to weigh your ingredients by weight (water too) and take a note of humidity and temperature. This will help you determine how much water and flour you'll need for the next time;
10) once the dough has the right consistency, spray a deep bowl with PAM cooking spray, and cover with saran wrap;
11) I use my oven to rise my dough, with the door closed 80% (I use a roll of tape to prop open the door). Leaving the lightbulb on, it generates heat on a consistent basis. If your oven can go down to and maintain a temperature of 80degrees, you can do that;
12) Use a Pizza baking stone ($20) at any kitchen store.

Good luck, would love to hear from any of you if you have any stories to share.

ummmm... donuts

Well, here is my first post.

What better way to start my blog off with donuts.... in younger days, remember eating 3 donuts and not even thinking about it... now it's become a balance of transfat, sugar, calories, carbs, GI index, oil/flour, no tax on a dozen. It's upsetting that the Krispy Kremes didn't do that well, cause I loved eating them... Wouldn't it be great if donuts were good for you? Can't wait to try making them one day....