Motivational Posters...

You've seen em... motivational posters... big thing
in the 80s... faded in the 90s... the one with the eagle and "leadership" or the one with the rowing team "teamwork". It's the best way to suck up to your boss, making them think you're an A-player when in fact you're a shoddy excuse for an employee.

Three surefire ways to know your co-worker is doing absolutely nothing when they say:

1) I'm so busy....
TRANSLATION - Need to let everyone know that I'm doing nothing but playing Solitaire, filing my nails, planning a trip to Vermont, and what is for dinner. The way to tell how little they are doing is the way the "so" is intonated. If the person really pushes and emphasizes the SOOOOOOOO, the less busy they are.


2) I worked last night until 7pm...
TRANSLATION - I only showed up at 1030am, therefore I need to make sure everyone knows that I'm here. Let's face it, at 530pm, you ain't doing no hard-core work. In all likelihood you're doing your online banking, calling your boyfriend, and picking your nose cause or scratching the side of your stomach cause nobody is in the office. Your stomach is hungry, you're tired, and you want some Celine Dion music to calm your nerves...


3) I'm taking work home this weekend...
TRANSLATION - It's the best way to piss off your other co-workers... yes, really annoy them... you're almost better off saying you're soooooooo busy. It's hard to work at home unless your wife or husband is a hermit and you live in the mountain with your gnome friends in a mushroom village.

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Back to the motivational posters. Can you really be motivated by looking at the rowing team or eagle? There's really only one thing that motivates me to wake up every morning, and that's not for this blog entry (wink). That guy in the middle of the Blasphemy poster rips me up.